Dubai doesn’t have the tropical temps to grow bananas, so they’re shipped in. This is unfortunate, because these shipped in bananas taste like arse. I literally only buy bananas here to let them get too ripe, then use them in baking. It’s the only way they are edible. You want to know what else is hard to swallow? The new instagram algorithm. No Instagram, I didn’t like Janet’s sponsored post of her cat wearing a costume 3 days ago because it was rubbish, so stop showing it to me. And that new “you’re all caught up!” notification? What’s that about? I feel like it’s a personal attack. I’ll tell you when I’m done scrolling insta, so sod off.


Preheat oven to 180 degrees celsius.

Grease and line a 20x20cm baking tin.

Put all your dry ingredients (except the flaked almonds) into your food processor and pulse together a couple of times.

Add all the wet ingredients and whizz together to a well combined cake batter.

Remove the blade of the processor and gently stir through the blueberries.

Pour mixture into prepared tin.

Scatter with flaked almonds if using.

Bake for 40 minutes.

Cool slightly in tin before turning onto rack.

You could use a loaf or round tin, you would just have to adjust baking time.


  • 2 cups almond meal
  • 1 cup desiccated coconut
  • 1/4 cup arrowroot starch
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • Pinch sea salt
  • 2 overripe bananas
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/4 cup honey or maple syrup
  • 125g punnet blueberries
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3 tablespoons flaked almonds to decorate (optional)